The case for Positive Psychology

As we go about our days, we encounter a handful of situations that lead us to feel upset, unhappy, disappointed, angry, or various other stereotypical negative emotions. These situations could be as simple as our fast food bag missing the sauce we really wanted to dip our fries into as serious as getting unexpected news about our health. Our automatic reactions to these situations kick in, and often we let ourselves really stew in our emotions. Before we know it, we are in a bad mood and having a bad day.

But would you believe that a seemingly simple interaction leading to a negative emotional response could impact our wellbeing, our relationships, and our performance? Negative emotions, when not managed effectively, lead to detrimental psychological, physical, and behavioral effects. Negative emotions compound and prevent us from being able to cope, deprive us of motivation and energy, blind us from creativity and open-mindedness, reduce our productivity and decision-making capabilities, and unfortunately impact us in so many more ways.

The science of Positive Psychology offers an alternative way of managing these distressing situations. When we notice our negative emotions kicking in following a situation, we choose to accept the situation for what it is and move on, or to convert the situation into an opportunity to find a gift. 

Let’s explore those options a little further:

1. Accepting the situation for what it is and moving on: Often it is the refusal to accept what has happened that causes us the most distress. A situation in itself is neutral, and it is only our perception and response that determines it to be negative. More so, acknowledging that we can only control so much instead of wrestling with what we wish had happened is crucial. Choosing to accept a situation for what it is frees up your space and energy to then move on from and take productive action despite what has happened.

2. Convert the situation into an opportunity to find a gift: Two things can be true — this situation can feel really bad and there can be a learning or blessing from it. Choosing to make meaning, find opportunity, or learn something from situations that conjure up negative emotions generates positive emotions amidst challenging situations. Grief comes to mind as an example, as using this approach can support mourners in still building positive emotions while also experiencing the distressing emotions of loss. 

If you are like me, this approach may start to trigger warnings of toxic positivity. Dismissing or resisting negative emotions only builds up, increasing the likelihood of an outburst of pent-up resentment. Besides, we have every right to be upset when someone wrongs us, as opposed to turning into some kind of passive pushover. But here’s the subtle yet incredibly powerful difference: resisting or avoiding negative emotions is toxic positivity whereas regulating and choosing our reaction is productive positivity. 

Our automatic negative emotions are critical in our health, just like the pain we experience when touching a hot stove. These feelings warn us of the danger and provide us the opportunity to make our next move. But we wouldn't leave our hand on the burning hot stove, relinquishing our control to prevent further damage. Likewise, we shouldn’t sit and stew in our negative emotions either, resulting in similar self-harm. 

This approach encapsulates the opportunity within Positive Psychology. Instead of examining and dissecting and diagnosing what is going wrong, this branch of Psychology builds what is strong, enhancing positive emotions and our overall wellbeing along with it. 

The choice is yours — will you fall prey to life’s inevitable challenges, allowing your negative bias and automatic reactions to take charge? Or will you choose to manage those upsetting or frustrating situations with intention and increase your overall satisfaction and joy?

Sign up for one of Hatch Joy’s Coaching Packages today and learn how to transform the way you show up in this world.